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Many individuals seek therapy for help navigating trauma, but trauma’s effects are rarely limited to the person who experienced it. Often, symptoms associated with post-traumatic stress create strain in a survivor’s closest relationships. These difficulties can manifest in various ways, such as emotional distance, communication struggles, and physical withdrawal. Understanding how trauma impacts a relationship is essential for both partners to navigate the healing process together.
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Because political beliefs are often tied to values, having a different view than your partner can feel like an impossible gap to bridge. These differences can lead to frustration, anger, and defensiveness, leaving both partners feeling unheard and misunderstood. Over time, this can create withdrawal, criticism, and resentment patterns.
In Emotional-Focused Therapy (EFT), we focus on the emotional underpinnings of interactions and beliefs. When partners understand why the other person feels strongly about a particular issue, they can engage more empathetically.
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Peer pressure and jealousy can also create tension in teenage friendships. The desire to belong can be so strong that it can cause teens to consider going against their own values to fit in. They may also be jealous of others who seem to fit in more easily. On top of all of this, as a teen, you are still exploring who you are. Your values likely aren’t fully developed, and you might not even really know who you want to be friends with. This can lead to confusion and self-betrayal as the desire to fit in clashes with the desire to be uniquely and authentically you.
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When working with neurodivergent clients, a neurodiversity-affirming therapist aims to tailor their approach to account for how parts are uniquely influenced by that client's specific neurological makeup. This neurological context adds an essential dimension to understanding why certain parts emerge and function as they do.
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If you are struggling with disordered eating, your relationship with food and/or exercise has likely become a relentless cycle of control, guilt, and shame. You may feel a deep sense of not feeling "good enough."
Beneath the surface behaviors—whether it's restriction, bingeing, over-exercising, or purging—lie common core themes that often emerge in therapy: a deep sense of unworthiness, perfectionism, fear of failure, and an overwhelming need for control in the face of internal chaos.
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Many of my clients are struggling in their careers. Some have their “dream job” but grapple with long-held expectations that do not match reality. Others hold sought-after creative roles that feel stifling and antithetical to the creative process. Some feel trapped by “golden handcuffs” – they earn a great salary but are always on call, making work/life balance impossible to achieve.
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Relational trauma occurs when the people we trust most—those we look to for safety, stability, love, validation, and security—are also a source of significant psychological harm. This kind of trauma most often occurs in childhood from our caregivers but can extend into adulthood, particularly with romantic partners.
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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO) offer complementary healing paths when integrated. Both approaches emphasize that simply discussing feelings is insufficient, especially when couples are trapped in difficult cycles. By providing a space to slow down and experience emotions differently, these methods foster deeper understanding and lasting change.
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Adolescence is a ripe period of self-exploration and growth. As a teenager, you are rapidly developing – physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially – exploring and learning about who you are, what you care about, what you like and don’t like, and how you relate to the world. This can be dense, confusing, and challenging – and it can also be exciting, explorative, and playful with the right support.
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Being a teenager is hard enough. Add a layer of mixed cultural identity, and the challenges can quickly compound. I've been there. Your parents just don't seem to understand you. You feel like they choose to see the worst in you and fail to recognize that your experience is uniquely different from theirs. Maybe you're often grounded, or reprimanded for things that you feel are normal. The values of your home don't mirror the values you experience at school. It feels like you are living a double life, expected to chameleon your personality depending on where you are, and nobody at school or home seems to fully understand. You know you don't deserve to be punished for just being you. You feel trapped, alone, and angry.
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Loss doesn't have to look significant to feel significant. Whether going through a breakup, moving to a new city, navigating friendships, or confronting a career transition, it is natural to feel overwhelmed by emotions when moving through change. It's that ache in your chest. The wave of sadness seemingly comes out of nowhere and brings you to tears. It makes sense. Things that once defined your identity are no longer there, leaving a void you're unsure how to fill.
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Attachment injuries refer to emotional wounds that occur when a trusted individual fails to provide you with support, care, or protection during a time of need. Attachment injuries often arise from experiences of betrayal, abandonment, rejection, or neglect by your parents, caregivers, or romantic partners. In my experience, we all have an attachment wound, albeit of varying degrees, because no childhood is perfect. But when these wounds disrupt your sense of safety, trust, and connection that are foundational to healthy relationships, they can often develop an insecure attachment.
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When we feel powerless, our internal system develops protective mechanisms as a survival strategy. These protective parts emerge with the noble intention of preventing future harm, manifesting in a wide spectrum of behaviors. What might appear on the surface as problematic—whether it's perfectionism, people-pleasing, excessive caretaking, or more extreme responses like addiction and self-harm—are actually sophisticated survival strategies developed by our internal parts to shield us from potential pain.
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The term “life transition” may bring to mind the sudden, dramatic shift into the great unknown we endure as young adults. But life transitions take many forms and happen at every stage of life. Common examples include pursuing higher education, moving, changing careers, getting married, getting divorced, becoming a parent, and retiring. Such turning points tend to evoke an array of emotions that can be overwhelming.
Often, people turn to therapy for help managing their overwhelm. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic modality that is particularly well-suited to navigating life transitions in two ways: through Parts Work and Self Leadership.
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Navigating grief on a daily basis is already a tough experience. As you approach this holiday season, know that it is normal not to want to participate in the things that you usually would in the past. Grief and loss change us and our relationship with the world. It takes time to adjust to a life without our person, pet, and/or community, so give yourself permission to approach this time of year at your own pace.
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When neurodivergent individuals enter relationships, their sensitive nervous systems often amplify experiences that others might consider minor. Society frequently labels these individuals as "reactive" or "too sensitive," expecting them to conform to neurotypical standards by "letting things go." However, this expectation misses a crucial truth: many neurodivergent individuals genuinely experience emotions and sensations more intensely.
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Many partners benefit from working with a Gottman-trained therapist. The Gottman Method is a research-based modality that emphasizes three relational domains: conflict, friendship, and shared meaning. Approaching your relationship in this holistic way means that you won't just rehash your problems every week – you'll learn how to navigate conflict, proactively strengthen your partnership, and focus on creating a meaningful life together.
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In Internal Family Systems (IFS), these protective coping mechanisms are called protectors—aspects or parts of our personalities that help us stabilize and/or soothe so that we hopefully navigate life with more ease and an increased sense of safety.
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As a couples therapist, I borrow Bell Hook's definition of love. She defines love as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." She emphasizes that love is an action, not a feeling. This means that maintaining emotional intimacy in a relationship requires thoughtful and consistent intention and corresponding action.
In our fast-paced world, feeling overwhelmed is, unfortunately, the norm and is even seen as a point of pride in certain circles; it's as if our tendency to work harder than our capacity is proof of our worth. But this so often leads to burnout for many and can even progress to more significant experiences of anxiety and depression when not addressed. One powerful tool that has gained significant attention in recent years is mindfulness
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