Feeling Misunderstood as a Multicultural Adolescent
Being a teenager is hard enough. Add a layer of mixed cultural identity, and the challenges can quickly compound. I've been there. Your parents just don't seem to understand you. You feel like they choose to see the worst in you and fail to recognize that your experience is uniquely different from theirs. Maybe you're often grounded, or reprimanded for things that you feel are normal. The values of your home don't mirror the values you experience at school. It feels like you are living a double life, expected to chameleon your personality depending on where you are, and nobody at school or home seems to fully understand. You know you don't deserve to be punished for just being you. You feel trapped, alone, and angry.
Your mental health is deserving of care. As a mixed-race teenager, you are inherently navigating multiple identities and facing unique pressures that can understandably lead to feelings of overwhelm. All you want is to fit in. To be accepted and wanted in spaces for who you are as you explore who you are.
Identity & Belonging
One of the biggest parts of adolescence is exploring your identity. What do you like? What do you believe? Who are you, and where do you belong? For mixed-race teens, this exploration of belonging can be more complicated.
You may not fully identify with one cultural group over another, which may lead to feeling like you are "too much" or "not enough" to fit in anywhere. You may flat out face rejection from communities: e.g., "You don't look [Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, etc.] enough to be a part of our group." This can affect confidence, self-worth, and emotional well-being.
Isolation
Feeling misunderstood can lead to a sense of isolation. You may experience microaggressions or overt racism in social settings without fully realizing what is happening. One of the first questions people may ask you is, "What are you?" – i.e. What is your racial background? Though this question usually comes from a genuine place of curiosity, it can reinforce the feeling of being an outsider. Something is different about you. Being a mixed-race teenager can be especially difficult in a world that likes to put people into neatly categorized boxes.
The good news is that you are not alone in this experience. The number of multiracial people worldwide is rapidly growing, whether or not you live in a place where you can experience this firsthand. The truth is that your multicultural identity is a blessing of cultural richness, though this does not invalidate the painful experience of coming into the world feeling misunderstood.
Tools to Help You Navigate the Multicultural Experience
Luckily, there are coping strategies that can help you cultivate self-acceptance and emotional resilience as you navigate this nuanced experience.
Talk to a Therapist. Therapy is a safe space where you can be seen and heard in your unique experience. A therapist can help you process feelings of anger, confusion, identity struggles, or discrimination, as well as help you develop coping mechanisms for times when symptoms of overwhelm, anxiety, or depression emerge. If you're experiencing any of these challenges, online teen counseling can provide a supportive space to explore these issues and find your unique expression of who you are.
Seek out peers who may have shared experience. If this does not exist where you live, online communities can be a great resource for connecting with other multicultural teens. Feeling understood can be validating and can help to reduce feelings of isolation.
Practice Self-Compassion. Take time by yourself to honor what you are experiencing. It is normal to feel confused as you explore your identity as a teenager. That is what this period of life is for. Remember, you are not obligated to fit anyone's expectations but your own, and only you know what is truly right for you.
Start Working With a Teen Therapist in Los Angeles, CA
If you’re struggling with belonging and figuring out your identity, Therapy on Fig offers specialized Teen Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, to help you navigate. Our therapists are experienced in providing compassionate and effective therapy to support you through these difficult times. We offer a safe space to explore your feelings, process your experiences, and work towards self-confidence. Our trauma-informed approach ensures that you receive the support you need to navigate these challenging emotions. Let us support you by following the steps below:
Reach out to schedule a free consultation.
Speak with a Teen Therapist.
Find your belonging and build a trusting relationship with yourself.
Other Services Offered at Therapy on Fig
At Therapy on Fig, we offer therapy services that fit the unique needs of teens, adults, and couples. In addition to Teen Therapy in Highland Park, CA, we also offer Therapy for Empaths, Trauma Therapy, Grief and Loss Therapy, and Couples Therapy.We also address related issues such as anxiety, stress management, self-esteem, and relationship issues. Whether you're seeking support for a specific issue or looking to strengthen your relationship overall, our therapists are here to help. Reach out today to learn more about our services and to begin your path to healing, agency, and peace.
Marina Mendes is a Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (#15511) supervised by Sharon Yu, LMFT (#50028). As a mixed-race Asian American queer woman, introvert, and Highly Sensitive Person, my healing work is shaped by a deep understanding of what it means to feel "othered." I support individuals who feel misunderstood, embrace multifaceted identities, and value multicultural awareness. Reach out to learn more about our experienced therapists.